Becoming orgasmic is not something we just learn overnight. It is practiced skill for most women which is learned via masturbation and trying various methods of stimulation, learning what feels good, what works and what doesn’t. That means the more we learn about self-pleasure, the better our orgasms will be. Here are 10 tips for females to enhance their orgasms.
1. Masturbation: In the book “Becoming Orgasmic” the authors note that “…Research has shown that for many women, the easiest and strongest orgasms occur during self-pleasuring, or masturbation. For women who have not yet experienced orgasm, masturbation often provides the kind of stimulation most likely to lead to feelings of arousal and orgasm.” Masturbation will teach you which areas respond to stimulation better, and allow you to hone your techniques for achieving orgasm. So explore your body, try different techniques and sex toys, and let your body show you how to achieve pleasure and orgasm. The more you practice, the better your orgasms will be.
2. The Clitoris: Studies have shown that 70% of women get off from clitoral stimulation. A clitoral orgasm is brought on by the stimulation of the clitoris either directly or indirectly (around the clitoris). Some women enjoy intense, direct stimulation of the clitoris, while others find it uncomfortable or even painful. The clitoris can be stimulated in a variety of ways including by the use of a vibrating sex toy, fingers, a lover’s tongue, as well as indirectly through vaginal penetration. Many women find that the top right of the clitoris is more sensitive. Try stimulating various areas around the clitoris and find what you like best. Clitoral orgasms are usually the first type of orgasm that women experience as they begin to explore themselves sexually through masturbation. So don’t be afraid to show your clitoris some love. You’ll be happy you did!
3. Vibrators: Vibrators are the clitoris’ best friend. While many women can and do get off using just their fingers and other techniques, vibrators are the main way that women masturbate and achieve orgasm. The best clitoral types vibrators are usually made of hard plastic as plastic translates vibrations very well, or a powerful vibrating massagers like the Hitachi Magic Wand. Mini massagers are also wonderful, almost as powerful as the larger Hitachi, but lightweight and more ergonomically friendly.
4. Types of Orgasms: According to most sexologists, there are three main types of orgasms: Clitoral, G Spot and Combination Orgasms. While clitoral works best for most women, more and more women are learning the secrets of G spot and combined orgasms. Learning how to achieve different types of orgasms comes through practice, experimentation and learning your own sexual responses. Having an open mind and a sense of sexual adventure also go a long way.
5. The G spot: The G spot is easier to find if you are already aroused. It is a soft, spongy spot 1″-2″ inside the vagina on the top wall. It will often feel wrinkly and begin to puff up when stimulated. The key to having G spot orgasms is having the right tools. Dildos designed especially for G spot stimulation should be curved, have a bulbed head and be made of firm material like silicone, metal or glass. Once a woman gets over the feeling of wanting to urinate during G spot stimulation and lets herself go, she will be able to achieve G spot orgasms. Again, the more you practice, the better your orgasms will be.
6. Combination Orgasms: Clitoral orgasms usually come on faster because that area is more accessible, while G-spot orgasms are more intense because they reverberate from inside your body. Combination or blended orgasms are produced through a combination of various stimulation, both clitoral and vaginal (and sometimes anally) simultaneously. Betty Dodson, the mother of masturbation who has been teaching orgasm techniques to women in hands-on workshops for over 30 years, says that these types of orgasms are easier achieved if you combine the above with PC muscle contractions, pelvic thrusting, and breathing out loud. Simultaneous clitoris and G-spot stimulation combine the unique sensations of both clitoral and G-spot orgasms into a mind-blowing orgasm that results in a longer, deeper experience. Some women report that the combination orgasms are the most powerful of all three types.
7. The Brain: Sex is not only about the genitals. In fact, the brain is said to be our largest sexual organ. It controls the release of chemicals that trigger arousal, creating physical changes in the body that prepare us for sexual pleasure and make orgasm possible. The brain responds to the most dominant impulse it receives, which is why visualization and fantasy can have such an arousing effect on our bodies. Sadly, we tend to ignore the important role the brain plays in sexual arousal. For if the brain is not aroused, it cannot process sexual stimulation, so the genitals won’t be aroused either. Orgasm is not just a mechanical process. Therefore attitude is very important as negative thoughts or feelings of guilt will not allow you to feel the pleasure of sexual stimulation. To be sexy you must think sexy. And to think sexy you must rid yourself of Victorian ideas of morality and female sexuality. Women’s bodies were designed to experience pleasure through sexual stimulation, including self-pleasure and masturbation. So give yourself a break and celebrate your sexuality, your desires and let that sexy creature inside of you breath the air of sexual freedom.
8. Let Yourself Go: Letting yourself go during sex and masturbation is important for achieving orgasm. You have to turn of the critical self that tries to interfere with your pleasure. Allow yourself to be in the moment, to experience pleasure for pleasure’s sake alone. Don’t worry about achieving orgasm or have any set goals. Don’t think about work, or family, or doing the laundry. If it helps, try fantasizing about something you find sexy, or simply enjoy the sensations your body is feeling. Groove your body to the rhythm of your pleasure, humping your hips, grinding your pelvis. Let the orgasmic energy flow through you, breath deep, moan out loud and let yourself go.
9. Energy Orgasms: While energy orgasms may seem like a tale of science fiction or psuedo-magic, the truth is they do exist and doctors have studied women achieving these in MRI machines. What they noticed is the part of the brain that responds during orgasm lights up, when women achieve orgasm from thinking alone. To achieve energy orgasms you have to be in the moment, use your breathe to cycle the orgasmic energy through your body, be vocal, hump your hips, use your PC muscle and visualize the orgasm going through you. While it sounds crazy this is a technique that any woman can learn with the right information, practice and patience.
10. Fantasies: Briefly mentioned above, sexual fantasies help remove us from our everyday lives to put us in the perfect mind space to achieve orgasms. The thing about fantasies, is that anything goes. Nothing is taboo. So, let your mind wander into your dirtiest and most secret fantasy. Top female fantasies include: surrender fantasies, dominance and submission, lesbian sex, sex with a stranger, being a “bad” girl or prostitute or slut, being a sex goddess or sex slave, and even good old vanilla romantic sex.
So there you have it. I hope these tips have motivated you to achieve better orgasms. Remember, sexual pleasure is a lifelong process of learning about ourselves and exploration. So try to keep a few of these things in mind the next time you want to get off.